Alisha's Peace

Excess Won't Access

My sister . . . my brother,

What are you carrying around all of that baggage for?  Oh, is it because it’s Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Chanel or Prada?  Well, I’ve got news for you: even if it was bought and paid for with your life, it still doesn’t become you.  You’re thinking you just can’t let go, but I say: whether it cost you too much or it’s just carriage you got for dirt-cheap, it all equates to a trunk of junk, and it’s just weighing you down.  It’s an excess, not an access.  What am I talking about?  Not what—who.  I’m talking to the bag lady or bag man who seems to think life is all about living in the past.  Let it go.  I promise you’ll feel a whole lot better.

If I charged a dime every time someone whined to me they couldn’t accomplish something because of how someone else has failed them, I’d be so close to wealthy right now, President Barack Obama would be asking me for economic advice.  I’m serious.  As I embark upon another publishing journey, I’m constantly asked how I made it happen.  When I detail the labor and cost put into my efforts, I hear moaning and groaning about “the economy isn’t this,” “my family won’t do that,” “had I not been married to him,” “my ex-wife robbed me of that,” and so on, and so on, and so on.  We’ve all been through something, and in the words of my late great-grandmother, “Keep living.  You gon’ always go through something.” 

I’ve been through a lot of something(s).  I've survived the projects with no father, only my grandmother who acted as mother alongside my mother who had given birth to me at the age of fourteen.  For the most part, our transportation came via Memphis Area Transit Authority a.k.a. the city bus or by walking.  Needless to say, this meant my grandmother and mother were unable to support my school functions like choir performances, plays and such.  I told Grandma I wanted to be a writer, and she'd say, “That's good, baby.”  However, she never read my work or encouraged me to shoot for the stars.  Why?  Because her “blue print” on how to be a parent came from her mother who also had very little education and dreamed NOT.

As I grew older, the something(s) or trials, I should say, escalated and became more intense.  Soon, “I can’t” became a permanent part of my vocabulary.  I used those two words like I had made them up myself.  They always proceeded “because.”  Oh, yes.  I was great at the blame game.  I felt “if my mother didn’t birth me so young,” “had my father been in my life,” “if my grandmother could’ve done more to help me,” and the list goes on.  After a while, I realized my family and no one else held responsibility for my life as it was.  I was to blame because I spent too many years feeling sorry for myself rather than pressing toward a new chapter or editing what I didn’t like about my life story.  I had already learned how to crawl.  All I needed to do next was take up from my bed of sorrow and walk.  

Today, I'm divorced, living as a single mother with two beautiful girls.  That’s the short version of who I am.  I've been through and through, but I've never let my tragedies be the focal story of my life.  So I’ve fallen, but the good news is I’ve gotten back up.  I've learned how to navigate through my defining moments, and furthermore, I speak victory over myself.  Life has been hard, but the difference between the old and new me is mindset. 

We need to let go of fear, even when the odds seem stacked against us.  Where there is a Will, there is a way.  Exercise that muscle called faith.  As you build it strong, release the hurt and anger of your past.  We should remember the past so we won’t be doomed to repeat failures and life altering mistakes, but don’t carry it around like yoke of the heart.  Those who learn to get over what “my momma didn't do, what my daddy didn't do,” and so on, are those who make something out of nothing.  It’s well past time more of my brothers and sisters stand tall.  Whether we do it collectively or individually, we first need to put our energy and focus on what more we want out of life rather than what we don’t have.   

Have I made mistakes?  Yes, I have.  I’ll probably make a few more in this journey called life.  Another difference in the old me and the new me is that I no longer allow people or things to keep me down.  Today my parents are loving people who had to learn from their mistakes just as I have.  Even if they hadn’t, it still wouldn’t be enough reason for me to block my joy.  I refuse to live in a mental jail because I had a prejudiced teacher or because I had a best friend to do me wrong or any other test thrown my way. 

I’ve discovered who should be a part of my space.  Once people show me who they really are, I believe them the first time.  I’ve lost people who were longtime friends because of the hurt they inflicted on me.   I forgive them, and just because I forgive doesn’t mean I have to carry them into my future.  I’ll feed and clothe them, if necessary, but I also know how to love them from a distance.    

I choose to believe what GOD says about me, and I roll with it.  My career titles include author, ghostwriter, playwright, editorial consultant, and recently adding screenwriter to my résumé.  Grandma recently expressed her shock at my level of success.  She never dreamed I or one of her children could accomplish what I have.  I'm not rich, but I am self-employed, and more importantly, on my way to greatness. 

I shoot for the stars.  Many times I land in the top of the trees, but that's okay, too.  The top of the trees is still a great distance from the ground.  If I fail, at least I've tried.  Many of those who thought it was hilarious I wanted to be a writer are now sitting back scratching their heads, wondering “if” they can also do it.  While they're dwelling on the “if” part, my real initiative has resulted in published works, a novella and four novels, two of which are EssenceÒ Magazine Bestsellers.     

To all my brothers and sisters: Your failures don’t have to be the dominate story of your life.  Remember excess won’t access.  Your best days are ahead of you.  Release the excess baggage, so you can access the rest of what GOD has for you.

I’m Alisha Yvonne, and that’s my peace.